Social Wellness

Several months ago my hair stylist, Bonnie, witnessed an accident. She was stopped at a light waiting to make a right hand turn. She noticed a little girl walking along the sidewalk parallel to her vehicle. It was one of those brisk mornings we long for as memories of the summer heat fade away into fall. Bonnie was mesmerized by this little girl in her brightly colored jacket with her little backpack on her way to school. But, the tranquility of the moment was shattered as an SUV came seemingly out of nowhere and struck the little girl in the crosswalk. I’ll spare you the details of this horrifying event but tell you that Bonnie rushed to the aid of this little girl and quite possibly saved her fragile little life. The driver of the SUV had come to a stop several feet away from where the girl lay unconscious in the road. The driver never hit the brakes and admittedly didn’t know what had just happened. When Bonnie told the driver she had hit the girl, the driver was clearly upset, as anyone would be. After the ambulance rushed the girl away and all the witnesses had given their statements, Bonnie was left to wonder about the fate of this little girl who had captivated her imagination for those few seconds in what now seemed like a lifetime ago.

Fast forward to yesterday. As I sat in her chair, Bonnie was excited as she told me that she had recently heard that the little girl was ok – just cuts and bruises, truly a miracle! The other stylist and patron joined in the conversation as Bonnie continued to tell me that she was asked to give her statement to an attorney a few days earlier. It seems that the driver of the SUV was placing blame on the child in the crosswalk.

Here’s where my opinion comes in and you have the right to agree or disagree. I wasn’t there on that morning so I don’t know what really happened. But I have a vivid memory of Bonnie’s telling of the story and of Bonnie’s emotion and how the images haunted her so perhaps that’s why my opinion is so wholly, completely, and admittedly one sided. Honestly, I was and am appalled at the thought of an adult with a driver’s license placing blame on an eight-year-old child in a marked crosswalk. An adult who asked Bonnie “what just happened” after she struck the child. An adult who never applied the brakes – there were no skid marks at the scene. An adult who never saw the child, but knew that she hit something is the very person claiming she did see that the light was green. She saw a green light about the size of a volleyball – but couldn’t see an eight year old child. Bonnie believed that the driver ran the red light because as she watched the accident she recalled the sound of the drivers behind her honking their horns and wondered if she was the only one who had just seen what happened. Bonnie’s light was green as she pulled her vehicle across the lane of traffic to protect the little girl; that she knows. But she doesn’t know when her light turned green as she was so focused on the little girl.

Equally appalling to me was the reaction of the other patron who agreed that the eight-year-old girl was responsible for the accident because she didn’t see the SUV. When I politely objected to the statement and questioned how the adult driving the SUV could miss seeing the girl entirely the patron stated very matter of factly that “..people are distracted when they drive and can’t be expected to see everything… the child should have been paying attention…” My next response was less polite because I don’t understand how it is acceptable in our society today to be distracted as we speed down the road in a 3,000-pound missile. How is it acceptable make an eight-year-old child accountable and not an adult? I felt myself getting emotional and had to stop talking, as I’m not one to pick a fight in a hair salon – or anywhere for that matter! But I did want to fight for the right of a child to be the kid and an adult to the grown-up. Has the world indeed gone mad? Have we no social conscious? Is where we are going and what we are doing in our vehicles more important than the life of a child or any other living thing? And again I must repeat that we are talking about a child walking in a marked crosswalk in broad daylight – not a crack head stumbling across the middle of the expressway at midnight!

I was compelled to write this story not because I want people to debate the color of the light and who’s truly at fault – but because I want us to wake up! We adults need to take responsibility for our actions. The well being of our society depends on it. Our social wellness depends on it. Our relationships with all of those around us should matter. Even if the child did step into the intersection before the sign said, “walk”, the driver should have been able to see her and apply the breaks. The driver should have been paying attention enough to know she just hit a child. We, as human beings should have compassion for the child and yes, the driver too. Once the driver realized what she had done she was truly sorry, and for that I do have compassion. I’m trying not to judge the driver and I’m trying not to judge the patron and I ask that you do the same. What I would like you to do is pay attention to our social norms and fight to keep the human element in humanity.

And finally, please put down your blackberry, your cell phone, or your hamburger and pay attention when you drive. Value our social wellness.